Juno Weekend/ The Tre(eeeeewwws)/ The (un) Trews

Hey it's Juno Weekend. In the the words of Le Tigre: Mediocrity rules, man!

Wait, I don't think that comment did justice to the topic at hand.

Hey, it's Juno Weekend.

.......SHITSTORM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's more like it.

We play a (ju)Nocase tonight at the Pavilion. None of my friends ever come to see me at the Pavilion (tear)...well wait- Alex and Lindsay came last time. And DMC! AND CALUM!
Calum, aren't you sad you won't get to meet your lifelong heroes, aka The Trews this weekend? You must feel so unsatisfied.

Hahahahahahhaha.

Speaking of The Trews, I fucking loved the diss BA gave them in the coast. It was such a casual, subtle diss; I need to work on my subtlety. One night, James and I were channel surfing and there was this tween show on the Family Channel about a high school with a radio station and the whole premise of the plot was a battle of the bands to win an opening slot for The Trews concert. The characters' lives revolved around their possibility of opening for The Trews. Fucking dynamic.

cough..cough.. giggle...teehehheee hehahehehahhahahAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHA!!! HA!

In 1/2 hr, 'The Trews' was said upwards of 34 times + total product positioning of The Trews (e.g. posters, cds)= upwards of 60 (it was so obvious, we couldn't resist a tally).

Good work.

No case poster:

Raps in the Key of Buck

Remember how Mary had the Song in the Key of Jay thing? Well, I've decided to endeavor a series of raps in praise of Buck 65.

Dear diary,

It's been a tiring but very fun week, filled with the typical binge drinking and nonstop antics that have become ...essentially typical.

From what I hear, Hissy Fit was filled with pelvic thrusts galore, debauchery...the licking of armpits. Humbled by a drag queen, I will never be the same.

We recorded on Friday at soundmarket with Haley for our Factor grant app song. Love that girl. Can't wait to go back and record more.

Akron family=suck. Typical Saturday night fight. Went home alone; inner-resolution found at approximately 3am.

Sunday=full studio day. 3 songs down. Sean can scream like Fred Schneider. Humourous.

Monday:

I am pleased to announce that I have legitmate personal reason to dislike Matt Mays. I know-his vapid, shitty music should be reason enough- BUT get this, diary! My darling mod rock boys played a show with him this monday at the Grawood. During soundcheck Matt Mays, like Jesus Christ himself, hailed his almighty word that my dear boys shalt not use his drums (after agreeing previously and letting the other opening band still use them). The roadie delivered the news. HOLD UP:

The roadie was wearing a shirt that read "I love Porno". This incited an interesting discussion regarding the ironic t-shirt's gradual progression into the non-ironic w/ DMC. I saw the guy: yes. Undoubtedly, he likes porno. Seems like it. Why wouldn't he?Wrist band, lame facial hair. So confusing. DMC concluded that his t-shirt MUST be ironic and presented the possible scenerio that roadie is a fundementalist Christian who wears the shirt to church. Or mormon. THEN! Then is would be ironic.

Right, so back to it: Matt Mays is a couchetard. Drums were retrieved from d-town at the last minute, and all was well.

Later on, I met Rich, aka Buck 65 and we talked about music and recording. Very kind fellow. He said he'd come to my show on Friday, but if I were him I wouldn't. K OS took a picture of me without asking and I yelled 'what the fuck?!" at him. I grossed College girls out with my armpit hair. 1:00am: Played rockin 4 dollar$$ at Flections, came close but no cigar to money. Last thing I remember, Dave and I were chuggin glasses of water in my kitchen one for one ("HIT ME!") at 3 am. This all took place on a Monday night. Mondays aren't allowed to be this interesting.

Love,
me

FIRST DAY O SPRING/Hiss your fit

I'm going to use David Lee Roth as my transgender-inspiration. Doesn't every man want to be David Lee Roth? Clearly.


NXNE= great time. Rammer killed. HOTSHOTROBOT were not in the gazette. The editor must be still pissed about the time I stole her boyfriend. Well, she shouldn't be. I gave him back.

Lots going on. Ask me about it or something. There's no way I can coherently write about the past 5 days until I sober up a bit more.

I'll try:
Thursday= It's noon. I'm hungover from kareoke. Dire Straights. Material Girl. I meant every word. still angry. Time to go record for 6 hours. Fuck Brad's pod. Oh, this is taking forever. But this is fun! Me so tired. Must drink red bull. Edited (attempted to) 15 page paper. Drink more red bull. I'm angry. Time to go play a show? I can't do this. Ok, we're at the North End pub and I'm doing this. Having some more whiskey to do this. SO many people here. this is awesome. Good! Andrew, complete the ven diagram/=ok. Oh my boyfriend is here. No, he's not, really. I'm angry again. Brad- get me a shot of tequila. That's better. Yes, my performance was angry because I'm angry. No I'm not going to pretend to like that band. Let's go to Gus's. Gimme that cigarette. I'm on the phone with kel kel in winnipeg, outside. It's 2 am here. I just cried. I'm in Gus's. Oh nice! Dave just gave me a creme egg. Joy! I'm standing and glaring at The Grass while they perform and there's creme egg all over my fingers. Time to go. Angry. so tired. Crashhhhhhhh fighting crassssssshing making up. crashing crashing crashed.

*passed out*

HOTSHOTROBOT fanclub

If you're reading this; you're already a member.

The following is an article to appear in the gazette this week. Kudos to Magen for making sense of mine and Andrew's dribble:

HOTSHOTROBOT – MORE THAN JUST AN APPLIANCE

The four entities of HOTSHOTROBOT are held together by an elusive glue of silliness. They have defined a new sound, adding flair to the basics of indie rock. Singer and synth-er Jen Clarke says of the band, "[we are] influenced by Brainiac, Enon, and XTC, essentially- they are quirky and energetic. We are very silly too, so I suppose there is an element of Ween in us." The post Blondie-esque sound can be described as omniscient, or even "floccinaucinihilipilification." Taking cues from MegaMan soundtracks and flaunting indie rock meets emo punk fashion, HOTSHOTROBOT's mechanics are flawless.

The boys enjoy playing pranks on Jen, AKA Ron, in their spare time. However, watching them perform is more than simply a practical joke. Jen's bashful yet prominent voice is easy to fall in love with, encompassing yet not overpowering, and her extensive piano experience is obvious. Andrew "Gorminator" Gormley annihilates bass lines with ease, and Brad Luknowsky wails away grunge melodies on guitar will a classic Weezer feel. Sean MacGillivray on drums is a new edition since the first recorded demo, and definitely a noble one. HOTSHOTROBOT also employs the aid of Jon Epworth's percussive expertise from time to time (brownie points!) The sound is full-bodied and vintage, but the garage-punk edge declares it better drank from a paper bag than a prissy glass. The synthesizer, adding an element of the 80's, combined with funky, raspy distortion allows for moshing or dancing, to suit anyone's fancy. The band brings new hope to the scene, a hope that there are still bands out there with some sort of individuality and distinct flavor.

This robot has proven itself a well-oiled machine, with a new album due for spring. With a full schedule of upcoming shows, HOTSHOTROBOT is quickly becoming a new wave rock icon in Halifax's eyes. The four have extensive yet different backgrounds musically, giving a unique edge to composition. They have been adding more complexities, while still keeping the tunes as a whole short and catchy. Over the years, they have become more "verbally loose, crass, abrasive and what have you... but it's always in good fun," as Jen puts it. And oh, what fun it is!

Not afraid to have a good time? Then dig up your legwarmers and come rock out. If you're into practical jokes like HOTSHOTROBOT is, then bring a My Little Pony for Jen. Maybe she'll perform a rock-opera for you, reminiscent of her younger years.

Catch HOTSHOTROBOT in the North By North End Festival at the North End Pub on March 16th, and then in the Drag Rock Show "HissyFit" at Reflections on March 22nd.

Remember the Robot party? A new friend of mine sent me this picture. I was so scared that the silver heart Bianca painted was going to leave me with permanent damage/half missing left eyebrow. It was all good, though:

The 11th

My eyes are vague blue, like the sky, and change all the time;
they are indiscriminate but fleeting, entirely specific and
disloyal, so that no one trusts me. I am always looking away.
Or again at something after it has given me up. It makes me
restless and that makes me unhappy, but I cannot keep them
still. If only I had grey, green, black, brown, yellow eyes; I
would stay at home and do something. It's not that I'm
curious. On the contrary, I am bored but it's my duty to be
attentive, I am needed by things as the sky must be above the
earth. And lately, so great has their anxiety become, I can
spare myself little sleep.

It is easy to be beautiful; it is difficult to appear so. I
admire you, once beloved, for the trap you've set. It's like a
final chapter no one reads because the plot is over.

Party!

I'm stoked for NXNE fest. HOTSHOTROBOT plays Thurs. Check it, y'all.

Back tomorrow. Telecommando @ Gus'! yay!

DMC rules the world

DMC has expanded his talents to the video persuasion.

Look, it's me in real time. How self-indulgent.

Yesterday, I found Til Tuesday's Voices Carry on Vinyl for 1$.
Bangles too. Oh, small town.

Sexist Schnitzal/Fuck Archie!

Dear friends,

Don't freak out when I'm missing in Halifax this week. My grandmother is sick so I'm home on an extended vacay. Last night I went out for sexist Schnitzal (sp?) with my dad and brother. Very tasty, but I couldn't help but notice that the German waitress asked for orders/served my dad and brother before me. What a moment. And then my dad played Bob Seger in the car.

Today, I made some killer mini-skirt Frenchy's finds (i.e. black w/ oversize whitepolka dot 80s mini), went for a long walk (I like being all country-emo) and read an entire Archie double digest.

Betty and Vernonica! What gives?!?!!? You spend all your time conspiring against each other on how to get Archie all to yourself. Check it: he's quite vapid-never quite says anything of any importance- and has these cysts on his face (poorly drawn freckles, perhaps). The only time you banded together was to prevent Archie from falling for his new red-head next door neighbor. Archie is clearly taking advantage of the fact that you both love him. Make him choose! STOP IT! Nonetheless, I love you. I hate you both, but I love you. And now I'm going to re-read every double digest I own.

Archie hirlariously sucks at songwriting:

I'm washin' windows, baby
On the penthouse of Love!
And our view is gettin' clearer
of the heaven's above

Your kisses send me higher
Your rejection makes me fall-
And the last thing that you'll
Hear from me is one great SPLAT!
That's all--That's all-- that's all...
-A Touch of Glass by The Archies

On another note, you know, hairdressers' probably fuck up a lot more than they let on. It's so not rocket science. If you see James, tell him you like his new hair cut. It only took me 3 hours.

Over and Out,
P.O.P.

You never clean up the mess that you made, you do your worst to run away/ Yay, Didacticism!

~You Lose Again- KNA recorded LIVE March 3, 2006

Last KNA show ever last night. The most fun I've had at a show in recent memory. The impact they've made is indisputable judging from the number of us that know pretty much all the words. And we all rocked out. Dan is one of my favorite people in the whole world, ever.

There is one topic that I should stay away from, but I won't; that being, band judgement.There are few things in life that can't be disputed- the binary of good and bad, for example. I'm not a diplomat, in fact, I'm unemployed. I pass judgements, albeit sometimes crassly (who am I kidding, ALWAYS), yet freely and honestly. I know others who do the same. And I appreciate it. Sometimes it's fun to be reckless and ignorant, I won't deny. But a wise friend once said to me:

HEY, ROCK AND ROLL MAN- It's all about SLAMMIN and getting SLAMMED.

I like a good fight. It keeps us all young. You just gotta dig it.

Gwen Stephani may have her Harajuku Girls...

But I have the cutest set of mod-rock brothers on the Planet.

I win!



96% talent+ 82 parts sarcasam x 1 Mordecai Richler
+ equal parts attitude & vocabulary + infinity dangerous style+ one cute one + one hot one
=The Stance Brothers