Out of Control

This weekend began with

OPEN BAR WORK PARTY
Lawyers like to party. People were drunk by 5:30. There was karaoke. Nobody was really into singing/not drunk enough so I took charge and sang Material Girl to a room full of a hundred and some lawyers, ending my performance by announcing: anyone who doesn't sing is a big wuss. People ate it up. I was a smash hit. There are hunky lawyers. I talked to them…

And later on

A SURPRISE PARTY DRESS
Gift from heather. Gorgeous gold/silver brocade, very Burberry Prorsum. Apparently, I was so excited I tore off my shirt and put it on right away. Poor Jared.

Which was very quickly followed by

GETTING ACCQUAINTED WITH THE BATHROOM FLOOR.
I may have been puking my guts out, but I looked damn pretty- so I’ve been told.

-Awe jenny you look so pretty…
-I want to diiiiiie...so many shots and there were tiny little meatballs *garbled drunken gibberish* I was talking to all the lawyers and they’re hunky one is 27 and we kept drnking he wanted to take me to Tribeca and drinking and *pukey*
-Awe, were they cute?
-*Pukey* uh uh. Yeah...*Pukey*...They were really cute...Oh,I want to diiiie

Which resulted in

AN EARLY BEDTIME
Friday night tucked in and passed out by 11 and everyone went out to speakeasy.

SHOPPING DAY WITH MOM
Nothing beats hangover like a cheeseburger and shopping. I love my mom.

A WEIRD SHOW AT STAGE NINE
Weird crowd. I went on business matters, ended up staying because of rain etcetera. And I like the Tragedies. Mark Stance is the king of town. Just ask the fucking drunk chick who was beside me yelling I looooooooove you, then turned to inform me as she impaled me with her stupid spiky trash heal that I really love him! I do!!!! And she did, until her boyfriend showed up.

Which also involved

MARK BLACK
(Are you happy now, you little attention whore) continuously interjecting with bizarre commentary, only to run off and shortly thereafter reappear to apologize for the previous comments, just to say something even more ridiculous and run off again- including but not limited to, as I was speaking with the owner “A gross man is hitting on you”.ThankyouMark. And even still, I don’t hate you. I never did. So get the fuck over it. Or try harder.


The aftermath of Sunday was marked by a family brunch sleeping more sleeeeeeeeeeping and supercharged band practice until I thought I was going to collapse. I love my band.