Saturday Night

-I bet that German Shephard was stoked to be in the video.

-I bet it's totally dead now.

...

Are you guys watching the Pet Shop Boys DVD?

...

Yes.

I am your AM RADIO pop hit

sigh

I now have a temp job at a law firm. Look CMAN, I'll be your bitch soon.

Dear CMAN,
Remember the time I was going to Law School too? Then, one day, I listened to Paperhouse by CAN and totally renaged...for now.

Good times.

What a bizarro week. I had that werid flu thing all week and it made me neurotic and depressed. For awhile I thought it was asbetoes poison from the demolition next door(note: neurosis). I went to Bearly's on Wednesday anyway. When I couldn't keep up with the words for 'Walk like An Egyptian', it wasen't because I was drunk- I was sober and feverized. I have self-appointed myself as Julia's Halifax Big sis, because I always wanted a sister and I love her.

ED: Finding out that you were the mystery thrower of the flaming mop filled me with inexplicable delight.

I was thinking about how insane my week was and that I should start another blog with psuedonyms for people and the diabolical entertaining party mess that is my life. But then I realized that half the entertainment is they very fact that these people are who they are and to take them out of context would ruin it. I could write some crazy fuckin memoirs. Or an indiscriminate series of short stories. I know a lot about other people's business. I like it. For now, I'll just keep it to myself.

What am I going to do...Andrew says I have cabin feaver of life ...

euhgi349o58yfgsnjkl I have a headache

Less than a week til controller.controller show. Sean is back and we need to practice.

Last night I enjoyed a much needed beer with darling Savannah. This morning I got the new Deerhoof cd- Johnny gave me the money back guarantee- and it didn't disappoint.

I need a job or else I am going to go insane. Nevermind, I am insane already. I have made life-altering decisions in the past 48hrs and I don't know why.

I have 45 skirts and I'm pretty much broke.

Bearly's tonight.

Everybody's doin it

The question thing: Ask me 3 questions in my comments-anything- and like a magic genie of truth I will answer...

I really haven't been belligerent enough lately. What happened?
You know what a snooze fest is? In Flight Safety. That's what.



Dear Subway commercial:
I hate hockey.
Cell phones are an unfortunate tool of modern convenience for me. I do not love them.
I do not enjoy your subs. Far from love. They're ok.
Those fucking parkas are terrible. Don't get me started on that girl's hat.
signed,
a Canadian

Ok, I feel more like myself again.

I'm so 15 years late...

JIGSAW YOUTH written by kathleen hanna for jigsaw fanzine #4 (spring 1991) Olympia, washington


We live in a world that tells us we must choose an identity, a career, a relationship, and commit..to these situations..as if we know what's gonna happen tomorrow, as if we aren't ever gonna change, as if we don't live in a world of constant flux, which we do.

Don't freak out cuz the jigsaw is laying on the floor and it's not all the way done and has been laying there for 4 whole hours now, resist the freak out. You will get to it..it's all part of the process[...]

Jigsaw Youth, the island of lost and broken toys, feminists who wear lipstick, people who envision 'the land of do as you please', whose lives are not simple and they are sick of trying to make themselves cohesive enough to fit into a box. Jigsaw Youth, listening, strategizing, tolerating, screaming, confronting, fearless, girl soldiers, boy lovers, poofy haired teen girls scraping out the eyes on a photo of Rick Astley, Jigsaw Youth, the misunderstood seeking to understand other people's reality. Making mistakes... making mistakes... making mistakes... making mistakes... feeling something. Knowing you will never see the puzzle put all together but trying anyways cuz each fucking piece really matters and being with friends matters. Jigsaw Youth... inventing and reinventing what these words mean.

I got the cd version of the first 2 Bikini Kill records today. I feel 15 years late but that's ok.

Last night, as always, Bearly's was an incredible time. Sillines galore. This week I've been privy to girl secrets that make me squeal. I love girl secrets.
PS- We missed you last night, swac! I hope you're feeling better ( I take it you must be ill to miss kareoke)!

Yes, we are.

Not to get too ahead of ourselves, BUT-

We get to play with Wax Mannequin March 1st. Sharp Like Knives are in the mix too.
Lovely, lovely.

Congrats Les Coques et les phoques on your special win last night. Your insanity made me smile.

Here I am in my bucket today/In the middle

Good times, weekend times.

Saturday's show at Stage nine was lots of fun, but with an asterisk *I had a major hangover due to overabundance of scotch. Who am I kidding. It was fun, I'd do it again.

So many of my favorite people were there. Pre-show, hotshot had privy to listening to the completed Epworth album. Sooo good. We drank scotch. I did Epworth's makeup. My Big brudder came to my show and I gave him a shout out and he blushed. I yelled 'I LOOOOOVE YOU CHRISTINA' far too many times and threw my tie at her. Those Maynards are supercool cats. I reintroduced myself to people that I'd met 5 minutes earlier. I met a girl from Russia and learned we share Chopin Nocturne as our favorite classical piece- E minor No.9.

Rockin 4 dollaz tonight.

Here's some Debbie; I feel like looking at her and I know you do too:

HOTSHOTEpworthBOT Version 2.0

Show tonight. Stage neige. We play first. Epworth rocks the shit. Lots going on tonight. I think my big brudder is coming. yay!

This is for Amy:

Brothel

Kara's. It's the salon brothel of Halifax. I've been getting my eyebrows done there ever since I came back to the city for school. Lots of blondes in bartops and pointy shoes. Lots of fake tan. Lots of terrible music. But it's convenient and cheap.

I walked in today and there were about 5 guys waiting to get their haircut. It's so terrible and awkward to watch:

guy: nervously sitting waiting, wondering which well-groomed hussy will do his hair

A perky hussy approches him: HI I'm Tammy! Nice to meet you! Let's shampoo you!

guy: uhhh huhaha hi.... uh I'm steve and I'm a huge pervert and I came to look at your boobs.

ugh. Ok, so I made up that last (pervert) part. Fuckin' guy.

I hate it; but I keep going back.

Bearly's tonight. It's gonna be serious.

It's time for another HOTSHOTEpworthBOT

Alas, last I heard, Sean is still eating fresh fruit directly off the trees in California and we're playing a show anyway.

Also, I just got word (actually Godwin told me last night but I didn't believe him) that we're opening for Controller.controller on Jan. 31st. Pavillion, mutherfuckers. Look at them; they're so suave-




Last night was so totally fun. Catholic Gaydad. I like joining hands and a circle and running around like kindergarteners on coke and nearly getting severely injured. That fashion television song...

I was on the phone until 4am. It's so good to hear your voice again.

What would Joan Jett do?

Sometimes when things bug me, I consider this.

Joan Jett would go to Rockin 4 dollaz$$$$ tonight.

PS- Kel-kel you look beautiful. I'd post your picture, but that may be little too creepy. YogaAndrew makes my salad at pete's frootique all the time. He makes a good salad, no joke. Ample use of ingrediants and dressing.

Unrelatedly:

Shots ring out from the center of an empty field
Joni's in the tall grass
She's a beautiful mental jukebox
A sailboat explosion
A snap of electric whipcrack

She's not thinking about the future
She's not spinning her wheels
She doesn't think at all about the past
She thinking long and hard
About that high wild sound
And wondering will it last?

I've been listening to lots of Sonic Youth lately.




Tune out the past, and just say yes

Oh, and this:

You Are Gwen Stefani!

All guys dream about you And all the girls want to be you "Sappy pathetic little me That was the girl I used to be"

Who's Your Inner Rock Chick?

Yes.

The cookie told me so: The world is always ready to receive talent with open arms.

What have I been doing all week? Well, walking around listening to New Order...getting caught up on 4 years of sleep deprivation...reading...trying to figure out 'what's next'.

As long as I can remember I've always been in a rush, i.e. 'gotta get the fuck out of this town', 'gotta finish this degree', 'gotta get to my next job'. More more more, run run run. This fall I entered the real business/administrative, you know, I call it 'big girl', job world. It didn't take me long to realize that I was by far the youngest and more qualified than some in my office. But I also soon realized that being smart can, in some instances, hinder any kind of job security, and education doesn't matter if you're usurped by the fat lady with a baby who's in the union and you're not.

Lesson learned: I'm not a fan of office politics/ not going to play that game again anytime soon. I saw how quickly one can fall into playing the 'climb the ladder' game, how consuming this game it, how much bullshit you have to put up with do this, and how quickly months of hard work and playing along can dissolve into nothing.

So, I'm on strike...walking around for hours listening to New Order...trying to figure out 'what's next'.

I was discussing life goals with c at supper last night. He has just entered the corporate workplace to the max. It's not what he wants to do. He knows what he really wants to do: work on his favorite tv series in San Francisco doing research/engineering stuff. I could send them my resume, he said, but that would be crazy.

So I told him a story about last spring:

I was browsing concert listings in Montreal looking to take a trip. I saw Enon were playing, one of my favorite bands ever. My band had just finished recording our demo, decided on a name 'HOTSHOTROBOT'-taken from a Brainiac song, which was a band that included 1 of 3 enon members. We love Brainiac and Enon. Instantly I booked my ticket. I said to bassist Andrew, I have to give them our demo. It would be so cool. So I went to the show which was my favorite to date. Afterwards, I walked backstage. My friend Megs yelled behind me,

-Where are you going? You can't just go back there!

-Fuck it, I want to talk to them.

So I went backstage and gave them our demo and hung out for a couple of hours. And it was totally fun.

I told c, I haven't heard from Enon since (my email was in the demo case) but just meeting them and the chance they might have listened to my demo is cool enough for me.

Lesson learned: Sometimes doing something 'crazy' isn't so crazy after all. Nothing is really impossible as we make it out in our minds. Just do something. *That last statement was too close to a nike ad. I'm not being didactic, am I? Oh god, I am. I don't care. I'm self righteous and unemployed. Leave me be.*

Today I opened my email to find:

hey jen,
how's it going?
i can't remember if i wrote you or not yet. i'm sorry,
but i just found your cd again and wanted you to know
i listened to it. it's a good song! hopefully we can
come and play with you guys some time. what city do
you live in again? say hello to your group for us.
let me know, and happy new year!
matt
ENON/


Too cool.

WhooWee 2006

Dear Readers,

Happy New Year.

Last week we played at One World, and as always, it was a frenzy of getting everyone in the right place with the right stuff at the right time, but as always it was a fantastic show. Philip Clark graced Halifax, flustering girls left and right, leaving some *ahem* more satisfied than others.

New Years was very fun- part of the night spent with the Tradgedies ( JCS, you should really stop telling me to kill myself; it's not nice) and wittle Scribbler, who gave me a nipple pin which is delightfuly subversive and has already made at least one person uncomfortable. I'm proud to say that I rang in the new year with a room full of fantastic people and at the stroke of midnight Beardo, Alfred and I among several others danced our mutherfuckin asses off to New Order in a serious tribal fashion. I managed to make it to see at set and a half of Epworth at the Attic to boot. It was a fine evening. But we missed Dennis. In an effort to track him down and include him in New Years 2006, we found him on MSN, where I delived the key message:

lsitewan man, its jsut another night man fucvjk it, man. we'll all poarty soon mna,

And clearly, we will.

Right now I'm at Dal, because yesterday I woke up from a dream and decided I'm going to take a class. Stupid dream, I already have a degree. Luckily, I now see how lame it is here...but it seems more appealing to take a class than find a job currently.

We will have to see.

In other news, Sean's gone to Califoria, presumably to be pussywhipped into doing things he doesn't want to do. So, for the next month we can expect a few more appearances of HOTSHOTEpworthBOT/ Jen Epworth band.

That's all I have for now.

PS- BEARLY's TONIGHT!